The Meaning of Sacrifice
by AnakinsFavorite
Summary: A collection of vignettes about AnakinVader and Padmé.
1. A Lesson Learned

**The Meaning of Sacrifice**

Before he'd taken even two steps into the senatorial suite, Anakin could tell that something was wrong. Silence had replaced the usual hustle and bustle of Padmé's abode, and there was no one to be seen- an oddity considering the fact that his wife hardly went a standard hour without an appointment or entertaining guests.

_It never fails that I feel like a stranger in my own home upon returning after being away for so long_ he thought with a small grin.

Laying his cloak down on the nearby couch, Anakin slowly paced through the adjoining rooms and became increasingly worried as he saw no signs of life, particularly that of his beloved Padmé.

_She's probably still up at the Senate slaving way for people who never appreciate her efforts_ he thought grimly, _and all at my expense!_

Months away had made him miss Padmé terribly, but he was content to wait for her until she returned. With a mental shrug, he walked to her bedroom, sighing as he caught a whiff of his wife's familiar scent, one that could just as easily make him sleepy as on edge.

Suddenly, Anakin stopped dead in his tracks.

Did he hear someone crying?

Lightsaber in hand, Anakin barged through the partially cracked open door and into the bedroom. Panic raged through him as the crying grew louder, only adding to his sense of foreboding. By then, the victim was undoubtedly Padmé, and after bracing himself, Anakin shoved the bathroom door open.

Kneeling with her tearstained face in her hands was Padmé. Heaving many a heart-wrenching sob that shook her shoulders as she rocked back and forth, obviously in terrible pain, Padmé did not seem to notice him. At her feet laid not blood but something more precious- long locks of her soft, brown hair. The curls covered the ground around her, causing a sense of defeat as well of loss.

While Anakin could only stand there in shock, Padmé continued to weep for her lost hair.

"Angel," he finally breathed, rushing to her side and scooping his little wife into his arms.

"Anakin!" she hiccupped, starting in surprise. She eventually snuggled into his embrace where she continued to cry. "W… what are you… d… doing here?" she asked, her watery eyes looking sadly at him.

He ignored her question and surveyed the battle ground they knelt on. "Angel, what happened?"

"I… had… a moment of realization," she hiccupped again, this time smiling weakly.

Anakin secretly wondered how 'a realization' could have caused his wife to impulsively cut off several inches of her enviable hair, but the respectfully waited for her to explain.

_Her morning had been rather tedious, and after having attended many long meetings and endured a seemingly-unending tour of Coruscant's new Med Ward facilities, Padmé found herself doing what she had come here for- being able to see the Center through the eyes of a simple human being. Sicknesses raged around her, making Padmé feel only too aware of her own good health and fortune. It was times like those which made her feel guilty of her privilege. _

Quite sobered by these thoughts, Padmé continued to wander along, not headed in any particular direction.

Suddenly, something hit Padmé's legs, catching her more off guard than balance.

Looking down in surprise, Padmé found the most adorable little girl looking up at her. The child was obviously alarmed and wobbled on the spot as she tried to regain her balance. Her efforts were futile and she soon plopped onto her bottom only to tirelessly stand back up and grin. Though an identification bracelet was clasped about her wrist, she wore an adorable pink jumper with a matching woolen hat that only complimented her cherubic face.

"Tiré!" a voice called out from behind them. Quickly striding up to them was a young woman who, by her amazing likeness, was the little girl's distraught mother. "You know better than to wonder off like that," the woman chided though she obviously hated to do so, for a smile spread over her pretty yet weary face as the little girl giggled, obviously unharmed. "I hope she hasn't been bothering you, Miss."

For a brief moment, Padmé started upon realizing that the woman did not recognize her, but quickly turned her attention back to the little girl. It was a good thing she did so- Tiré took another unsteady step and promptly lost her balance. Quickly, Padmé bent down to catch her and scooped the little girl into her arms, alarmed by how frail and thin the one-year old was.

Giggling, the toddler did not notice Padmé's discomfort but immediately started to squirm. One hand was extended out to her mother, the other one scratching at her head. After a little, the cap slid off to reveal a shiny, hairless scalp.

Had the mother not been there, Padmé would have cried out in fright, but she merely tried to keep a calm face.

The mother hadn't noticed Padmé's shock but had rushed to pick up the hat, which had fallen to the floor, and carefully placed it back on the child's head with an affectionate kiss. "Tiré," she sighed, "you know to keep it on."

It seemed that Tire didn't- she immediately attempted to remove it.

Afraid that her shaking hands would no longer be able to support her, Padmé sat Tire down on the ground and watched as the girl immediately scampered away, only to fall flat on her bottom again.

"It's the medication that does that to her," the mother said mournfully, watching in pain as her daughter struggled to stand up and remain doing so. "She is so full of life, but her body can't keep up with her…"

"What is wrong with her?" Padmé whispered, her heart breaking as Tiré turned around and flashed her a wide grin.

"She's has cancer. The doctors do not know when it began, but… but she hasn't ever known anything else!" the woman started to cry.

Feeling immense pity, Padmé gave the woman a reassuring hug all the while her own heart broke.

"I'll be alright," her companion finally sniffed, drawing herself up to her full height. "Come, little one- Daddy should be here now!"

Face glowing, the toddler rushed back to her mother but not before flapping her arms goodbye to Padmé.

In a sudden rush of emotion, Padmé knelt down before Tiré. "It was nice meeting you," she said solemly.

But, in a movement that would haunt Padmé long after she left the Med Center, the little girl reached out and reverently touched Padmé's abundant curls. "Ha.. hair," she said quietly, her mouth stumbling over the hard word.

"Yes, Tiré- that's hair," her mother said a little too cheerfully, holding out her hand for the girl to take.

"Bye-bye," the little girl chanted, continuing her arm flapping. Soon, the mother and daughter were gone.

"It is not much," Padmé said quietly, looking down at the floor, "but it is the least I can give her- I just felt so guilty about having so much hair when she has none."

Anakin nodded solemly. "I would donate some of mine," he joked, tugging on his short waves, "if I had enough to spare."

Padmé, though, did not find this funny but sighed. "Anakin," she said so quietly that he had to strain to hear, "have you ever thought about us… well, having some children?"

A long silence ensued.

"I can't say that I haven't," he said slowly with pursed lips.

"We can talk about it some other time," she said hastily, bending down to scoop up her hair. A moment later, she held out a curl to Anakin. "You gave me your braid- now you can have part of me."

Touched, Anakin took the strand and gently held it between his finger and fore thumb, brushing the softness. "Thank you," he whispered only to look up in surprise as Padmé caressed his face and smiled at him. "What?"

"I was just thinking," she said. "Someday, Anakin Skywalker, you are going to learn the true meaning of caring- and not just for me," Padmé said quickly as he began to protest. "You are going to be faced with a great challenge, and you are going to feel as I did today, but you're the Chosen One- you shall have a greater impact than I will ever, even with my small acts of kindness by giving what little I have."

"I am not half of what you think I am," he mumbled with his head hanging.

"I do not believe that, Anakin Skywalker. You shall someday give the greatest gift of all."

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**Twenty One Years Later, On the Death Star Over Endor**

"Father! Please!" a screaming voice could be heard through the sounds of lightning licking at a victim's body. "Father!"

It seemed as if Vader merely stood there watching as his only son was tortured to his death, but a great war raged within him: one of darkness and light, loss and love, and death and redemption.

_You shall someday give the greatest gift of all._

Realization and strength washed over Vader's being, and his many years of suffering left his body.

_This is my gift to you… my son_ he wept inside as he forcefully picked up the Emperor and, with what little strength remained in him, destroyed the darkness, _my self._  
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**Same Day, Coruscant**

That day was not only a time of death and renewal, but of birth. In a Med Center in the Imperial City, a young woman held her newly-born child, marveling at the dark and abundant hair the baby girl had. Touching her own hair, the woman noted that the babe had the same hair as hers.

"What shall we name her?" her husband asked fondly.

A momentary frown spread over the woman's face, but soon, a small smile graced her lips. "Padmé," she whispered.

"That is an unusual name," her husband said.

"It means 'gift' and was the name of the woman who showed me kindness during a time when I had no hope," she replied.

"She is indeed a beautiful gift," he agreed, bending down to kiss the baby's forehead. "Whatever happened to your friend?"

The woman became confused. "I don't know… I think she died when I was little, but mother told me- in secret, of course, because of the Emperor- that she was a great Senator and a kind woman."

"Hopefully she shall grow up to be like the both of you- kind, and generous of heart."

In her arms, the baby yawned.

_Thank you, my friend, for all that you had given to me._  
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	2. A Promise Kept

**Era: **Before and after ROTS  
**Characters:** Padme, Anakin/Vader, Jobal, Neberries  
**Summary:** What was Jobal thinking about as she followed Padme's body during the funeral on Naboo?  
**Disclaimer:** I own neither Star Wars nor Titanic off which a slight concept and the title were based.

**A Promise Kept**

It was about midnight when Padmé received the transmission that made her drop everything and be immediately escorted to Naboo. In a matter of mere moments, her life as she knew it had been turned up side down and who she was to become was forever changed. Her sudden departure had alarmed her handmaidens and colleagues, but she went to go find the fate that waited for her.

Subtle differences could be noted as she stood before her parent's humble abode, oddly feeling a stranger though she knew every rock and blade of grass there. Though in broad daylight, the flowers seemed to have lost their luster, and the normally welcoming home had lost its comfort. 

It took a strong woman to walk up the stoned path to knock on the front door, but Padmé soon found herself being embraced by her sister, Sola.

"They said you wouldn't come, but I didn't believe it for a minute," Sola confessed, tears running down her pretty face, not so much unlike Padmé's own countenance. With a shaky sigh, she led Padmé into the house. 

"Is it as bad as the transmission made it sound?" Padmé asked quietly as she was led up the stairs and before the door of her parent's bedroom.

For a minute, Sola did not move but just stood there clasping Padmé's hands in her own. Then, the tears began again and she angrily brushed them away. "She… keeps… asking for you. I… knew you would come… even though you are so busy… but… father told her that you would… be coming," she wept. In a movement that showed how close the two sisters were, Sola cried onto Padmé's shoulder as her little sister patted her back.

"No," Padmé said flatly, "family comes before all else."

Nodding approvingly, Sola strode into the room with Padmé in her wake.

The curtains had been pulled shut and, though little light was provided, Padmé could see the ghostly silhouette of her frail looking mother lying in her bed. Whether or not it was a trick of the lighting, it seemed that Jobal insignificant within her large bed, the pillows and blankets seemingly enveloping her. Her hair, the same curls that Padmé had inherited, lay matted against her pale and sweaty face. Mouth opened, Jobal laboriously breathed but her eyes remained closed. 

Ever loyal, Ruwee sat on the bed by his bride's side, just as he had on much more joyful occasions. He looked up from where he lovingly brushed his wife's hand to sadly regard Padmé. "She wants only you," he said quietly, seeming older and much more grey than Padmé remembered. He bent over to kiss Jobal's face before gently leading his elder daughter out of the room, shutting the door behind them.

Away from the scrutinizing eyes of her fellow mankind, Padmé allowed many a hot tear to roll down her face as she silently mourned the one she was so close to losing. How could she adequately mourn the person who's own gift was her life, her mother's love the first thing she had ever known?

For a while, Padmé just wept but eventually sat down on the spot her father had vacated and held her mother's clammy hand. This brought even more tears to Padmé's eyes- how many times had the soft hands bandaged a cut or rubbed her back as she cried?

At this contact, Jobal's eyes flew open and she squinted through the darkness. The woman cried out as she saw her daughter there. "Padmé?" 

"I'm here, Mom," Padmé replied brokenly, gently kissing her mother's hand.

"I am… so… sorry," Jobal whispered as if doing so took what little energy remained in her body.

"Sorry about what?" Padmé cried out incredulously, immediately hushing her tone as her mother flinched at the loudness of it. "You have nothing to be sorry about," she wept, forcing a shaky smile.

"I… just wanted to see you happy," Jobal said. As she spoke, she tried to raise herself but miserably fell back against the bed.

"Shh…" Padmé said. "Save your strength." Her brow furrowed as she considered her mother's revelation. "But I am happy," she insisted. "I have the job I've always wanted, I spend every day helping people and making the Galaxy a better place…"

"No!" Jobal interrupted harshly. "That is not what I meant!"

Anakin. 

"You… must… listen to me," Jobal wheezed.

Padmé's heart jolted as she realized that this could very well be one of her mother's last requests- to not listen to her would haunt Padmé's being till the day she too departed from life.

"I fell in love with your father and felt so… I don't know how, but I wanted you to experience that," Jobal whispered as a couple of tears ran down her own face. "I always wanted the best for my daughters." For a minute, she paused to steady her shaky breath. "I wanted you to get married, to have children- my grandchildren." She lightly laughed, the sound momentarily warming Padmé but left her cold when the musical sound ended. Her mother shook her head mournfully. "That was my dream, Padmé, and I forced it upon you." 

"Oh, mother!" Padmé cried out. "That was my dream too, it really was, I just had to wait until the right time!" 

Suddenly, it occurred to Padmé.

Her mother did not know about Anakin, the man she had loved for the past two years with a passion that had been kept a secret from everyone but him. Could she share her most precious secret with her mother who would not live to tell of it?

_My love, what do I do? _

"I think it is my turn to say that I'm sorry," Padmé said slowly, praying in her heart that she was doing the right thing. 

Jobal opened her mouth to protest but was too weak to commence in doing so.

"I have something to tell you, something that I should have told you long ago but I was too afraid," Padmé said quietly.

"I'm married."

Silence filled the room, and Jobal became so still that Padmé would have thought she'd passed on but for the tears that rolled out of the corners of her mother's eyes. "My Padmé," she whispered, "I am so happy for you!"

Padmé smiled through her tears and squeezed her mother's hand.

Then, her mother asked the fated question. "Who is he?"

"I…" Padmé started to stammer but immediately shut her mouth. 

"You do… not have to tell… me," Jobal said so quietly that Padmé had to strain to hear. The blissful look had not left her face and she continued to look at Padmé with some degree of pride.

This hit Padmé with a stab of guilt unlike any other. "I married the man who has loved me for many years… Anakin Skywalker."

For a minute, no reaction was visible on her mother's face, but confusion soon became evident. "Padmé… how could you?"

"We loved each other," Padmé whispered, feeling guilty for the first time about their marriage since that fateful day when Anakin and she exchanged their vows before the holy man and Varykino.

"At least… there will… be someone to take… care of you."

"You will be here," Padmé insisted though she knew it was an empty assurance. "You've always been here to help me."

Jobal struggled to shake her head in protest. "I… can't… my time is over."

"You're not going to die… you're going to live and see your grandchildren- Anakins and my babies…"

"No," Jobal protested weakly. She paused to whet her dry lips. "You… must go on without… me." Her eyes momentarily flickered shut as more life left her.

"No… you mustn't. I need you." 

"Padmé- you must let go," Jobal said gently. She raised a hand to gently caress Padmé's tearstained cheek. 

"I won't let you down, Mom," Padmé promised, kissing the hand before it limply fell down to the bed. "I will be everything you hoped and more. I will tell my children about you and I will always try to be the parent you were… for me." A sob wracked her frame and kept her silent as she wept.

_Oh, Anakin, I wish you could be here with me._

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Padmé did not know that she had fallen asleep until she woke up to find herself lying next to her mother on the bed much like she had often done as a child.

But that was not why she'd woken up.

A gentle hand rested on her shoulder and stirred her senses.

Bolting upright, Padmé saw the familiar face of her husband. "Anakin…" she breathed. Only the presence of her calmly sleeping mother kept her from jumping off the bed and into her lover's arms.

Her husband followed Padmé's gaze to Jobal but said nothing. Sorrow covered his face as he felt Padmé's grief.

"How did you know where to find me?" she whispered, tenderly brushing her mother's hair out of her face.

Anakin said nothing but watched her for a moment with a tender look in his eyes. "Because, no matter where you go, you are a part of me and I can feel you as if you were right there with me." As if to emphasize this beautiful phenomenon, Anakin closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. "It is a most beautiful thing."

For the first time, he sat down on the bed opposite Padmé and placed his real hand on Jobal's forehead. 

"Anakin, what are you doing?" she asked fearfully, secretly wondering if he was going to peacefully slip her mother into the everlasting force.

"Have faith in me, my love," he said softly with an affectionate smile before once more closing his eyes.

Minutes passed by and, although Padmé did indeed try to trust her husband, each second filled her with trepidation. 

At last, Anakin sighed and opened his eyes. "I had best leave," he said as Jobal stirred. He bent down and kissed Padmé's forehead tenderly. "Until next time, my love."

Just as Anakin disappeared, Jobal's eyes flickered open. "Padmé?" 

"Mother!" Padmé cried out, flinging her arms about Jobal who was already sitting up.

"I had the most beautiful dream…" the older woman sighed, smoothing out Padmé's hair in a similar fashion from what her daughter had done for herself. "You were with Anakin and very happy…"

"He was here, Mother," Padmé smiled. "He saved you."

Jobal frowned. "Silly, there is no way he could have been here- what would a Jedi Knight be doing here on Naboo?"

Seeing her mother's stubbornness, Padmé decided to keep the secret to herself.

"There was more to the dream… there were two beautiful children- one with blond hair and another with your curls, Padmé." Contentment flitted across her face. "If this is to be, you shall be blest."

"I already am." 

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On the same day that Padmé's promise to her mother was kept, her life was taken by the man who had given her this precious gift.

Her body was broken and brought back to Naboo where it was venerated by family, friends, and admirers.

Jobal never received her wish of being able to meet the grandchildren she never had- they went to eternal rest within their mother's womb, never having taken a breath of air of seen the faces of their parents.

But Jobal new a terrible secret, one that she mused upon as she silently walked along with hot tears cascading down her face. For many a long day she had mused upon the words her daughter had last said to her, ones that had not made sense… until now. 

That was the true irony- how could the man who had saved her own life taken it away from his wife, her daughter?

Such is the mystery of the Sith.


	3. Letting Go

**Author:** AnakinsFavorite  
**Era:** After Return of the Jedi  
**Characters: **Anakin/Vader, Padmé, Luke, Leia, Han…  
**Summary:** Vader was never able to let go of Padmé and held onto something of hers for many years…  
**Disclaimer:** I still do not own Star Wars. Also, bad things happen when I watch Titanic… (for further details, figure out my inspiration for this vig!) 

**Letting Go**

The wound that Luke had delivered to his shoulder had earned Vader not only a harsh reprimand from the Emperor but also a week's leave at his tower-like home, Bast Castle. As he strode through the empty and lifeless halls, the Sith Lord realized only how vulnerable and weak he was without his cloak and much of his suit.

Rain lashed against the castled, lighting suddenly filling the emptiness with light, but it too disappeared like the good that had been within his own heart. 

_Once_

While Vader's feet led him along an unknown path, he mused his surroundings. It wasn't until he'd experienced his crippled stated that the Sith realized the meaning behind his abode- the way its torrential surroundings expressed the feelings within his own heart.

_Weak_

The Emperor had told him to either turn Luke or kill his own son- but he had failed to do so. Perhaps it was the fluttering of good within him or the weakness of his body, but Vader could not harm the being who had Padmé's beautiful face and kind heart.

Suddenly, Vader found himself standing before a heavily barricaded door. A gentle nudge with the Force sent the doors swinging open to reveal the storm beyond.

Unhesitant, Vader stepped out into the rain.

Vader slowly began to remove the gloves from his hands. Instantly, rain fell upon his charred flesh, something which startled him greatly and caused him to jerk his hand away.

It was then that Vader decided he liked the foreign feeling. Soon, his armor and other clothing, including his boots, laid scattered on the ground. Last came the mighty help, the removal of which seemed like a kiss of life.

Had there been anyone there to witness, they surely would have laughed to see the great Sith Lord standing drenching wet like a little child out in the rain, wearing nothing more than a pair of ragged trousers. At first, his face crinkled as the wetness spread over him, but a smile parted Vader's lips as teardrops rested on his long eyelashes.

A single word rolled off his tongue like a prayer.

"Freedom…"

The feeling of stone beneath his feet was also familiar, but Vader slowly moved towards the railing that overlooked the precipice of a great cliff. Anyone less would have surely been intimidated by the crashing lightning and the great height, but he shakily stood up on the lowest bar of the railing, pausing to gain balance.

Looking down at the bottomless pit below, Vader knew how easy it would be to escape the unending misery of life, to be joined with the Force…

To be with Padmé.

The sound that came forth from his lips was not the deep and mechanical voice of Vader but that of a haunted man who had hid behind the darkness for too long. For the first time in twenty years, he uttered the name of the woman he'd loved and eventually betrayed.

"Padmé…"

Hot tears rolled down his face to mingle with the rain, the saltiness of it stinging his fragile skin. A sob escaped his closed mouth as he looked down the precipice with great temptation…

"Padmé!" 

Though unsteady, he let go of the railing and slowly unclenched his right hand to reveal the precious burden that the Sith Lord had carried for many years within himself.

_I am a person and my name is Anakin!_

You are a silly boy

I am going to marry you someday

What makes you say that? 

It's just what my heart believes

I truly, deeply, love you

Anakin… I'm pregnant

Anakin, hold me like you once did…

Liar!

No, Anakin… I love you!

Darkness.

No jewel nor object of great power was held there- only a small snippet of japor wood. Rain began to fall on it, and Vader reverently brushed it away with his real thumb. As if mesmerized, Vader continued to stare at it, a boyish smile crossing his face, the same smile that had been present when he had given it as a gift many years before. Time had changed the smile, though, it was now cynical and almost bitter.

"I will never let you go," he whispered, caressing the necklace. 

Silently, the japor snippet slid from his hands and fell into the abyss below, never to be seen again by the eyes of man.

_I will never let you go_

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**Three Months Later, Bast Castle**

Victory had been achieved and they were sore to return home to their families, but the members of the Rebel Alliance found that they had one last task before them- to bury the ghost that had haunted them for so long.

Words could not aptly describe the feelings of these brave men and women as they walked through the empty corridors where a cruel Sith Lord had strode but days before, oddly feeling as if they were trespassing on a grave secret.

It was a couple of hours before they realized that Luke Skywalker was missing.

"Always getting lost or finding trouble," Han mumbled merely out of trepidation than annoyance.

They searched all over the castle but found no sign of their companion.

"Wait!" one rebel called out.

Soon, they were all running down a dimly lit corridor but came to a sudden stop.

A cloak lay on the floor. 

Luke's cloak.

"Who is she?" a single voice asked, breaking the silence.

Obviously expecting to see a ghost or some other specter, they were all startled to find that the object in question was actually a magnificent painting. In it, a young woman with dark brown hair who wore a small wooden pendant around her neck laid sprawled on a plush couch. She was kind-looking, beautiful but sad…

"Mother…" Leia breathed, twenty years of hidden emotions welling up inside of her.

"What?" Han frowned,

"Burn the place," she said softly so everyone had to strain to hear.

"But Luke…"

"Is no longer with us," Leia whispered, reverently picking up the cloak from the floor and clutching it to her breast. "Burn it." 

Thirty minutes later, smoke billowed as flames licked at the carpet and the interior of the castle, but Leia did not notice- she was drawn to the edge of the precipice and leaned against the railing as tears coursed down her face.

_So, this is how it all ends _she wept,

_Do not cry, my child… _a voice whispered through the mist.

Gasping, Leia looked up to find three figures gazing down at her. One was the woman in the picture- she gave Leia such a loving look that she was sure her heart would burst.

"Mother…"

The woman nodded before disappearing.

Hungrily, Leia looked at the handsome man who had stood at her mother's side.

_Father…_

It is time to let go his deep voice said in her head. With an affectionate smile, he too disappeared.

The only one left was Luke. _He is right_

"It will be so hard," Leia cried though she knew it was true. "Let me come with you!"

_You cannot come where I am to go- you are needed here_

Suddenly, Leia was all alone though warmth pressed around her.

"Hey, Princess! Do I need to escort you to the ship?" Han's voice broke through her troubling thoughts.

Somehow, she managed a weak smile. "I'd like that," she said before offering him his arm. "Let's go home." 

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End file.
